You’re planning a wedding that will last for one day—but you’re getting ready to commit to a lifetime with your future spouse.
Just like you are putting time into planning for the biggest day of your life, you need to plan for marriage! Let’s start your marriage off strong with a little planning before you actually say “I DO!”.
Communication is key to any relationship—so get to chatting about everything! Talk about your expectations, your wants, feelings and goals. It is very important to discuss your futurewith one another BEFORE you get married. You need to discuss finances, children, and roles of the household, plus so much more. Learn how to work through problems or disagreements while you’re engaged—and you do this through communication—and expressing your feelings.
Set a Budget
Oh, the dreaded “B” word...budget! Money is the root of so many problems in a marriage, and is one of the leading causes of divorce. Put together a budget of your expenses and incomes, and make a plan for saving money. Decide together what you will spend your money on together. Having a financial plan before you get married is so important!
Set Goals Together
Talk about your goals and what you want to accomplish together in the future. Do you want to travel together? Do you want to buy a house together? After you set those goals together, how do you plan on accomplishing them?
Take a Marriage Class
Take a marriage class with your future spouse through your minister or officiant of the ceremony, or through a small group at your local church. You may not be married yet, but why not learn about the keys to a successful marriage beforehand? While we were engaged, my husband and I were in a young married couples class Sunday School Class at our church. We made some awesome newlywed friends, we learned a lot about marriage and communication, and we learned what marriage is all about.
Put Others First
When you get married, your future is no longer about just you, it’s about both of you. Together. In order for you to have a healthy relationship, you need to put your spouse first, and think about how each action will have a consequence that can hurt the other. Start putting others needs and feelings before yours, and when you get ready for marriage, it’ll be easy to do the same with your spouse.
Work Together & Learn How to Problem Solve Together
When you get married, you become one, and you need to learn how to work together as a team to have a healthy thriving relationship. Learn how to work together now—because sometimes life throws a curve ball. You need to be ready to conquer anything and everything together! There may be a night when your spouse comes home and tells you she lost her job. Or he comes home and tells you he’s deploying for six months or up to a year. My point is that you need to work through life’s difficult moments together, and learn how to get through the tough days! Whether it’s through praying together or talking it out, find what works for both of you, and solve the problem together. Then when life hits you hard—you are not alone because you both know how to get through those moments together—as one.
*Disclaimer: I am NOT a marriage counselor. This is only advice that I found helpful when I was planning for my own marriage. *
Stay tuned for the rest of our Love & Marriage series! This month, I’ll be writing about things you can do now to plan for marriage—not just for the wedding. We want that happily ever after, a thriving marriage, so start planning for that together today!